was reading liyana's blog and the topic of discussion was the same as wad WS and I were having. well...my ex, ragesh, msged me on MSN last night. well..its the first time havin a conversation after almost a yr. we started out talking about norm stuff...what i was doing, what he was doing and where he moved to n stuff....then he mentioned tt he was gg to india and he asked me to join him. so i asked him why? and how would u introduce me to yr family and friends? and he replied 'maybe as a gf'. like wtf!common!! we have nt been together for almost a yr and he still has feelings for me? well i tot i did too....till that point. told him off! 'im nt yr girl'. thats wen i asked him if he had moved on...and it seems he has not cause he din know y i broke up with him. so i gave him the reason. was yr way or no way! once i agreed to the relationship he treated me like something he can use, for his pleasure.
maybe i was nt ready. 'listen to ur sub-concious mind' says WS...im listening and it says....says....*thank you for reaching you sub conscious, sorry we are not able to attend to your call right now. Please hold for the next available customer service officer. If not you can leave a message after the beep and we will get back to as soon as possible. Thank you.*
hahahahahaha....lame....
he din temme anything tt would want me to go back to him. no sweet talk no im still crazy about u...no nothing...well i can put him under the 'typical indian man' category. groan...the 1st 2 pple i told about this was bobo and anvita. both said 'y go back?' and 'wats wrong with him?'...
the worst/best part is tt i had a dream last night. i was gettin married...at my place...and its a big occassion...and IM GETTIN MARRIED TO A GIRL!!! i was like what the fuck???? i saw the girl...she looked familiar but shes no one i know...so maybe i will meet her...indian chick...but but but...does tt mean i will be les?? or tt i will have someone whom i don want? well tt happened...he came back and said he wants to get back me...in my dream robz and kumz scolded me wen i told them that i could not go tru the wedding...here bobo and anvita said otherwise...
i want to be in a relationship...but i don want to be with a person....does tht make sensE? not to me...OMFG im sooooooooo confused....but im glad tt i have such great frens such as WS, PC, anvita, bobo, kumz, robz and rubz. w/o them i would be a lost person...
actually im glad i went on with him. cos ive grown as a person. ive learnt about myself, abt him, guys and to wat extend i will go for someone and how easy it is for me to like a person and how hard it is for me to not like someone....i realized tt im a very jealous person who wants his attention most of the time. hahaha...
well what will happen will happen...just have to make good decisions and not regret making them in the future. regret does nothing but cause heartache.
loneliness can kill...but no one is lonely. we are surrounded by pple who love us. all we need to do is see them, reach out to them and love them back. =)
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